I feel like such an idiot   
12:40am 02/12/2005
 
mood: embarrassed
Michiru caught me flirting heavy-handedly (not literally) last night, and instead of apologising and immediately acknowledging that she was right in every way (because she was, of course), I stomped out of rehearsal hall and ended up in that bar I found Hotaru-not-quite-Hotaru in all those months ago.

Several stiff drinks and much brooding later, I was left wondering where I could get flowers at that time of night. The Bar didn't help, although I remember being told it did magic like that once. Maybe it just didn't like my attitude... not that I didn't deserve being ignored.

Michiru. Oh, Michiru. You only made me sleep on the couch for half the night and fixed me hangover remedies in the morning ('World Shaking' in my skull, damn). You truly are my heart of hearts.		  
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That almost went well.   
12:04am 23/01/2005
 
mood: frustrated
I haven't told the others about Hotaru-that-was's birthday yet; I'm afraid they're going to be a little disappointed.

I know I was.

I keep forgetting this isn't the Hotaru I watched grow up (unnaturally fast, true, but I still watched) into a cheerful young teenager; this is a wary, fragile... almost feral creature. She seemed to almost dread celebrating her birthday. She didn't even taste the cake while I was there! (That's really going to bother Michiru.)

We've made a sort of progress, though. She's willing to accept me (and, by extention, possibly Michiru and Setsuna, if Setsuna ever visits) as a 'new friend'. We're starting over that way.

It frustrates me to handle things so carefully; it works against my nature. This is much more Michiru's sort of... thing.

At least, Hotaru's presents are safe - they're being held for her, because she can't carry that much upstairs. And she has her cake. And, even though it seems to bother her (I wish I could understand) there are people who care about her.		  
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Like Michiru said...   
06:50am 03/12/2004
  I see she already made a note of my news.  Yes, it's Hotaru, but after nearly having to fight off an appointed defender (he reminded me, just briefly, of my saiai - his hair's only a few shades darker than hers), I noticed some odd things - or more to the point, the odd things finally sank in.

  • She's not wearing the same clothes (her school uniform) as when she disappeared.  Of course, clothes can be changed easily enough, but this is the same outfit she used to wear before she came to live with us.  At least, I'm pretty sure it is.
  • She appears to be smaller - physically.  Not just thinner and paler, which if she's been ill, would make sense, but shorter as well.  And maybe even younger, it's hard to tell with her looking so unhappy.
  • She has no idea who I am, and recognises none of the names I mentioned.
I have my suspicions, but I have to discuss them with Michiru.  She'll be able to find out the truth for all of us.  I wish Setsuna could come too, but she'll stay behind in case something happens.		  
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Hotaru's vanished!   
04:49am 19/11/2004
 
mood: upset
She had just come home from school -- she was telling Michiru and myself about her day (Setsuna was not home yet) when she faded away, like a spirit.

Our Chibi-hime... I don't know where to look, but I must start right away.  We'll split up, leave a note for Setsuna.		  
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warudosahakingu
 
 

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